Woman Translations - Men's Guide

At long last... The Men's Guide to what a woman really means when she says something. Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later).

* You want = You want

* We need = I want

* It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

* Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

* We need to talk = I need to complain

* Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

* I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

* You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

* You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

* I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.

* Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

* This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

* I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

* I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

* Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

* I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

* Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

* How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

* I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

* Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

* You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

* Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

* Yes = No

* No = No

* Maybe = No

* I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

* Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

* Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

* I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

* All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

(THE ANSWER TO "WHAT'S WRONG?")

* The same old thing = Nothing

* Nothing = Everything

* Everything = My PMS is acting up

* Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a jerk

* I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam